The Derby Wife Phenomenon

I cannot count the number of times I have heard women say that they cannot have lasting female friendships.  Sometimes, my very own own friends claim that female friendships are catty and superficial (ouch!) Other times, some of my most vocal female students argue that friendships between two women are doomed because women are just too competitive.

After hearing the endless claims that women cannot have meaningful friendships, I was perplexed when, two years ago, I found myself surrounded by roller derby women who had very intense friendships with each other and who were not afraid to admit it. Almost every girl involved with the league had formed a close friendship with another skater,  and they kept referring to one another as "derby wives."  Apparently, the derby wife trend is something that happens in leagues all around the nation.

After a little research, the best definition for a derby wife I have read  is the girl who "reminds you of all the things you ever liked in anyone else."  Your derby wife is the girl who will always talk to you about anything both on and off the track. Your derby wife is your competitor, but she still appreciates your talents and skills. And your derby wife never judges you, even when you get drunk, fall off of a bar stool, and smash your eye open all while laughing maniacally (true story!).

I guess what surprises me most about the derby wife phenomenon taking place is how vocal we are about our the relationships we have formed with these partners. Instead of claiming that friendship is impossible, we openly claim that we cannot live without each other. We recognize that a blend of competitiveness and rivalry actually helps to cultivate the relationships we have with these women.  There is even a book being published about derby wives called  Derby Wives: Skate and Scandal by Dale. H. West (more on that book later, but the title alone makes me very skeptical and leads me to believe we are going to read yet another book about hot women sabotaging each other)....

Anyways, we have taken this word (which started off as a term meaning "whore" and since then has taken on so many heterosexual and capitalist connotations) and made it our own. This new language gives all of us a fresh way to think about the possibilities of female friendship and marriage.

P.S. Let it be known that I am a derby polygamist. I have 4 (four!) derby wives and am proud of it. I cannot live with out my Rioter's Block from BAD, Enya Nightmare and Danikka Doom from ARRG, and Sarah who has started as the best fan in the world but is gonna be a force on the track one day! Derby wives are so awesome that I cannot settle for just one and really, I shouldn't have to.

Roller Derby and Burlesquing It.

During my spare time, (the few hours I find in between skating and teaching) I scan the internet for feminist blogs and articles because I really enjoy reading about the issues that permeate women's lives these days: sex, sexuality, identity, money and competition. I also scan the internet for anything.derby.related. I mean anything.

So, I was very surprised when I stumbled upon an article in Bitch magazine called "Holy Rollers" that I had never seen before. I read from Bitch frequently, but I guess I overlooked this insightful piece because it was published in 2005 and filed away under the sports archives. (My obsessions with hot women and rollerskates began long after 2005).

While the piece is a bit dated, the ideas in it are still very relevant for women who participate in modern day roller derby. Tammy Oler, former Texas skater and frequent writer for Bitch, compares the revival of flattrack roller derby to burlesque dancing because both activities ask women to present themselves as both sexual and competitive all at once. (Burlesque dancing, by the way, is an art in which women swing on poles and do some very acrobatic moves. She must be in prime physical shape to be able to perform.) As most of us know, fulfilling the role of both a vixen and an athlete is hard: how can we be sexy when we are covered in stinky sweat and how can we be a successful athlete if we are too worried about our hair getting mussed? The sport of roller derby, in particular, asks us to think on this problem.

These days, there are few skaters who don't spend some time obsessing about their uniforms or their female presentation on the track. Ladies, there is a reason why derby skinz exist. As Oler notes, roller derby was only able to come back in full force, able to "revive," because female skaters catered to the desires of a male spectatorship who wanted to see tough but beautiful women on the track pummeling each other. Oh, the trap of living in a world in which sports are, even under the best intentions of females, driven by the desires of men.

How do we deal with the problem we have created for ourselves?; Yes, we need our largely male spectatorship to survive as a sport, but do we really have to flaunt our sexuality on the track to keep our fans? What is the answer?

Declaration of Derby Commercial 2009