Derby Girls In A Small Town

I'm sure when I told people I would be staying with my family in Oregon over the summer, most of them imagined me in the cool cities of Portland or Eugene because those are the areas most tourists seek when they travel to Oregon. But truth be told, I am nowhere near those cities; actually, I am in a tiny little podunk town in the southern-most part of the state called Klamath Falls.

The town is pretty isolated and very quiet so I knew that I would have no problem becoming a temporary recluse, which is what I need most right now as I heal and make plans for the rest of my life. 

But, a girl can only take so much quiet time to herself.  In the past few days, I have been going through some pretty major derby withdrawals and I need the kind of action and excitement that only roller derby can provide. I swear, I have been so restless that I have even been dreaming about roller skates lately. So, I was completely thrilled when I found out that a roller derby team has been started in my tiny hometown.

The Klamath Falls "Roller Betties" are a brand new league and have only been practicing together for a few months. Right now, they only have about 10 active members, so they have alot to learn but are well on their way to being another kick ass league of women in the derby world!  They practice at a unique little artsy center called the Contemporary Arts Kitchen where apparently lots of cool punk rock bands and art shows take place.

Last night, the coach of The Betties called me and asked me to go out for drinks with the girls, whom she rallied together at the last minute to entertain me, a "fellow roller derby chick," because she knew I was in desperate need of some female interaction and conversation. We talked at length about this new league and the Betties even asked me if I would come to some of their practices and offer advice since (even though I don't feel like it) I am a veteran at the sport now.  I'll definitley be posting pictures of my upcoming practices!

Last night really got me thinking on how incredible and lucky it is to be involved in derby. When women join derby, they literally have a built in group of female friends wherever they travel and whatever spaces they find themselves in. And not just ordinary friends, but friends who are independent, strong, motivated and willing to do anything for one another. Roller Derby offers women a gigantic sisterhood like no other.

On top of the thinking that last night inspired, I have also been thinking about how important my derby women were to me immediatley after Jeremiah died. Without certain ladies, I honestly do not think I could have functioned for awhile. I read somewhere that widows usually fall into two categories when they grieve: they either sleep for a year or fill their lives with activity so they don't have to think for that first year. I like to beleive I have fallen into the second category.

After Jer died, Enya Nightmare (one of my best derby wives) drove me around and let me stay at her house. Grave Danger (the mortician) offered me invaluable advice on how to break the news to Jeremiah's parents. Rioters Block, (my favorite wifey from San Francisco) flew out and cuddled with me at night.  Danikka Doom (another amazing wifey) rallied women to clean my house and take care of the more boring tasks that I just couldn't face.  Mayor Francis Slayer took over all the tasks as captain of the Stunt Devils so I didn't have to worry about my team.

That is just the tip of the iceberg. Every single woman of ARRG offered me support in one way or another. Some cooked for me; some simply talked to me about their own experiences with death and loss; many cleaned out my house and packed for me; many helped out financially. Honestly, there is no way for me to express how thankful I am for my derby ladies. 

Without them, I do not think I would be doing as well as I am today. This month has been particulary hard, but I have accomplished three *really* important things:

1) I survived my first holiday/anniversary. On July 1st we would have been married for nine years. And, July 4th was the first time in a long time I have watched the fireworks without Jer.  I have heard that holidays and anniversaries are some of the most difficult times to face after a loss, but I made it!

2). I scattered Jer's ashes at the beach. He always wanted to be tossed into the ocean, and now he is. It was incredibly hard to let his ashes go, but I took them to a spot where we had vacationed with our best friends one year and tossed them in while crying. 

3)  I changed my facebook status from married to "widowed."  Enough said about that.

While I do not want my flattrack blog to become a space for me to mourn the loss of my husband, I think its really important that I share these accomplishments and events because I have come to understand over this past month just how much derby means to me.

Whether I am in St. Louis, Klamath Falls, or any other part of the country,  I have women encouraging me to keep pushing on amd that is pretty cool.   (By the way, speaking of strong women, I should also mention that both of my mothers, my aunts, my sisters, my new found colleague and close friend have also made my journey more bearable. Maybe I should start trying to convince them to strap on some rollerskates......)